


Blame the laundry 2

by mindless_indulgence



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:02:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21671917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindless_indulgence/pseuds/mindless_indulgence
Summary: Several bizarre incidents eventual lead to Steve and Bucky naked in a laundromat.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 7
Kudos: 13





	1. On the floor

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alyeen1](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alyeen1/gifts), [MRei](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MRei/gifts), [njgirl0976](https://archiveofourown.org/users/njgirl0976/gifts).



> This is a sequel to Blame The Laundry, a little fic born out of drunken Twitter conversations. The secondary characters are loosely based on certain Twitter accounts, but all references are completely fictional and/or exaggerated.

Steve pulled at his collar. No matter how often he had to do this, he never really got the hang on black tie events. He always felt ridiculous, as if he still was the little, scrawny kid in his too-big Sunday suit.  
He had to admit that the occasion was appropriate though. The German foreign ministry had send a delegation of diplomats to return stolen art that was recently discovered in a Berlin vault, and the descendants of the families had agreed to display the pieces in the Neue Galerie in Manhattan for 6 month.  
  
The opening gala for the exhibition was a grand affair, and he has been asked to say a few words, given that he was a veteran of WW2, and had quite a knack for art. He also appeared to be a worldwide symbol for peace and integrity, but the thought made him quite uncomfortable.  
He had been a bit scared to meet the German diplomats, given his history with them, or, more precisely, their ancestors, since none of them was over the age of 60.  
But they were surprisingly easy to get along with, especially the young dame who had made the discovery of the art, a beautiful brunette who made him blush all the time. Now he was looking out for her and her entourage, mainly because he didn’t want to have another chat with a politician who couldn’t care less about the cause but wanted to have his picture taken with Captain America.  
  
He was also looking out for someone else, but more with desperate hope than actual expectation.  
  
Someone tipped him on the shoulder.  
When Steve turned around, he was relieved to see the museum’s curator, a tall, skinny man with curly brown hair, blue eyes and a mischievous smile that reminded him of someone he hoped to never run into again.  
But Thomas William Escapo was a suave, soft-spoken man who couldn’t be more polite. Today, he was wearing a dashing charcoal suit with a cobalt blue bow tie.  
On his arm was a gorgeous dark-eyed woman, dressed in a matching cobalt blue evening gown. Her dark mahogany hair fell in soft waves over her shoulders, and sparkling opals adorned her neck and ears.  
  
“Steve, so good to see you here. These affairs can be rather dull, although” – he side-eyed his companion with a slightly warning look – “today’s probably going to turn out different. Let me introduce you to the lovely – “  
He was interrupted by a high-pitched shriek that made Steve grab for a weapon he wasn’t carrying tonight.  
But the emergency appeared to be a petite curvy woman in a sparkling pink dress and a diamond Tweety necklace, who charged through the other guests like a pinball. She pulled the other woman in a crushing hug that made her dress swirl.  
  
“Ohmigod it’s SO GOOD to see you again!! Damn did we miss you! And look at you, all dressed up! I had put money down that you’d be wearing a shower curtain again!!”  
Baffled, Steve looked at Thomas, who had an expression of bemused annoyance on his face.  
Steve wanted to ask him about it, but in Tweety’s wake appeared the German delegation.


	2. In the shadows

In a dark corner behind a marble pillar, Bucky watched Steve anxiously.  
Had Steve always felt like that when he had been parading girls in front of him in the 40ies?  
  
At least the curvy raven-haired one in the blue dress seemed to be dating the curator.  
The one with the Tweety necklace in the pink dress way tiny next to Steve, but she just said something that made him double over with laughter.  
He knew he had no business of being jealous. Steve has never been his to claim.  
A tall, dark-haired man with a wolfish grin joined the group, and was introduced. And the way Tweety necklace clung to him send a wave of relief through Bucky.  
He hated that feeling. He knew that he was free to walk over there, introduce himself by his actual name now, talk and laugh with them, and wipe the slightly worried expression off Steve’s face.  
Yet, he stayed in the shadows.  
Because he’s been doing it for so long, he had no idea how to do anything else.  
Bucky sighed.  
The brunette girl from the delegation was a stunner. He had seen her before, in the embassy, but now she was wearing a slightly translucent black dress with _a lot_ of cleavage.  
It was a miracle not every men’s eyes in the room were fixated there.  
  
Whenever Steve lost his internal battle of chivalry and glanced a look, he blushed.  
Bucky clenched his fists.  
  
“Relax, she’s very happily married. I think her husband lost track of time at the buffet when he met that Nobelist, but still, a peek is all that Cap’s going to get from her.”  
Bucky startled. He couldn’t remember the last time someone managed to sneak up to him.  
When he turned his head, he saw a tall, blonde woman standing next to him. Unlike any other woman in the room, she was wearing a suit. One of those ladylike ones, with a vest that more than emphasized her curvaceousness, but it still looked weird among all those birds of paradise.  
“If you know them so well, why you aren’t over there?”  
She gave him a crooked smile.  
“Why aren’t you? You’ve been cleared of all accusations, even Obama shook your hand publicly to punctuate your return to the hero side.”  
He shrugged.  
“I still don’t feel well in the spotlight. And from here, I can spot any threat that might appear.” – He assessed her again, like he was trying to figure out how much of a threat she could bode.  
In return, she held up her invitation card.  
“I’m not a criminal, but a tad of a fugitive. I got invited, but my – attendant advised against letting me come here. So I’m AWOL, but unless my picture is going to be in the newspapers, I won’t get any trouble for it.”  
She looked over to the group again.  
“And I’d be damned if I miss my friend’s celebration for finding some Nazi stash of stolen art.”  
Suddenly her eyes widened.  
“Oh crap!”  
“What’s wrong?”  
Bucky reached for his gun instinctively.  
“You see the waiter over there? The huge one with the scar on the eyebrow and the beard?”  
“Yes?”  
“He is _her_ ” She pointed to the woman in the blue dress – “other lover!”  
Bucky stared.  
“I thought she was dating the curator?”  
“Yes, but it’s casual. It’s also casual with the lifeguard, who’s apparently making some extra money here! I’m still not convinced that they will brush it off like that though.”  
She giggled childishly.

"This is going to be _fun_!"


	3. Booshwash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I came across a website that collected 30ies slang, which explains the chapter title and some of the written dialogue. I want to thank stressful Christmas dinner and Tequila for making me chatty and writing like a Chicago typewriter.

Steve wiped away a tear of laughter. He couldn’t remember the last time he had so much fun on a public event.  
“Okay, I get now why they’re calling you Shower Curtain. I’m amazed you weren’t arrested though. That time last year, I remember that we’ve been searching for a Citauri artefact around Las Vegas, and Hawkeye has been very active in that part of Nevada.”  
He was a bit confused when all three women choked on their champagne simultaneously.  
“Did I say something wrong?”  
Derek smiled at him.  
“I have learned not to ask about this.”  
Shower Curtain emptied her glass and looked around for a waiter.  
“Why didn’t you bring a date, Steve? The drinks and the food are marvellous, and there’ll be a swing band later.”  
“Well, uhm, I kind of ask someone, but I’m afraid they didn’t make it…”  
Before he could add anything else, a blue-eyed, slim waiter neared with a tray of glasses, but Shower Curtain jolted, and jumped behind him.  
“Oh fuck _no _!"  
Tweety necklace followed her eyes and burst out laughing.  
“Is this the yoga instructor you met last year? The one who can suck his own –“  
“ _Yesssss!!!_ And we haven’t seen each other recently, and believe me, he is _not_ prude, but I don’t want to have this conversation here!”  
She looked nervously at Thomas, who was smiling enigmatic at her.__

* * *

“Why did she get so jumpy about the other waiter?”  
Bucky munched on a tempura shrimp from a food tray Blondie had acquired. The stuff was pretty good. She borrowed his unobtrusive binoculars and studied the aforesaid man.  
“Hm… I think… flashing blue eyes, dark hair, 5’11 ... OH MY GAWD!”  
She clearly had trouble holding her laughter.  
“That’s another beau of ours truly. A _very_ bendy Yoga instructor.”  
Picking a Kobe mini burger, she giggled to herself, while Bucky gave her a disbelieving look.  
“She has three lovers?”  
“Well, she had a lot to catch up after her marriage. I just wonder what mischief of destiny brought all three guys together today. That’s quite unlikely.”  
Bucky gave that a thought, while he nibbled on a caramelized tomato and goat-cheese flaky pastry (his new friend introduced him to all kinds of food he never even heard of before.) Something that she said made the back of his head tingle, like a memory he couldn’t place.  
Changing her view on the group again, she snickered.  
“Oh my, it looks like my girls are giving you boi a hard time.”  
Bucky realized that for the first time of this evening (make that ages) he took his focus off Steve.  
Who was blushing as adorably as the first time Bucky had told him that he made whoopee with Josephine Gilmore in her Dad’s car.  
Gosh, he’d been an idiot.

* * *

The speech part was about to start.

Bucky was torn, because he wanted to support Steve, who never enjoyed speaking in front of large crowds, no matter how often they had made him the last decades. But he seemed to have a good time with his new friends, and he didn’t want to intrude. To vanish the sweet, easy smile of his face, replace it with the constant frown of concern he displayed when Bucky was around. 

So he stayed.  
In the shadows. 

His new friend was uneasy on her feet, going through her own kind of inner disunity. But when he didn’t leave, so did she. 

Professor Escapo opened, eloquently expressing his gratitude for the loan of the magnificent artwork, easily finding words for the injustice the families had gone through without plummeting the mood but not playing lightly on the part. He glossed over ‘his dear new friend’s’ discovery of the art, how she went through tons of old papers on her own time, merely following a hunch, and finally unveiling a hidden stash of Hydra loot from the last days of the war.  
He thanked the righteous, honourable and patriot Captain America, who honoured this opening with his presence and his service for the country. 

That part has probably been written by the Defence Department, as it seemed quite over the top and out of character of the gentle curator. Bucky smiled as he saw Steve blush over this.  
He wished – he shouldn’t wish for anything. He got Steve back, after all. That had to be enough. 

* * *

The foreign office girl with the distracting dress finally got on the stage and thanked the curator for his abundant words. She was clearly nervous, although she covered it well.  


“I never expected to lead to something like this.  
My research war purely academical, born out of curiosity and the pure joy of getting records in order. The world often enough doesn’t make any sense, so we try and find parts of it that does, parts that we can understand, parts that we can arrange and catalogue and assemble, so the world becomes less chaotic, more peaceful.  
My humble contribution to this is bringing order to writings of the past. It eventually led to giving a bit of peace and justice to those our precursor generation had wronged in such inconceivable proportions, and while this guilt is not defrayable, I am thankful that we can come together tonight, as friends, and give this magnificent artwork back to its rightful owners, who were so generous to display it here for all to enjoy!”

A hurricane of applause was followed by her words. Bucky pitied Steve, after these speeches, no one would’ve wanted to go on stage.

Next to him, Blondie was glowing with pride and applauded by knocking on the table next to her. He knew that was a german thing to show respect. Steve hugged the flustered diplomat, and, perfect as always, just said a few words of appreciation and gratitude. He was quite good at this by now, but still didn’t say a word more than necessary.

After another round of applause, the band started to play.


	4. Clip joint

The swing band had started to play. The diplomats opened the dance, joined in by almost all of the guests. Steve was left with Tweety pyjamas (he heard _that_ story too now), who wouldn’t leave him alone, and stated that her boyfriend was way too tall for her to dance with. He tried not to think about the suggestively way she wiggled her eyebrows when she said _dance_. 

He learned why the lovely dame from the German embassy was called ‘Bare feed Brunette’, even though she was wearing diamond-encrusted high heels right now, floating effortlessly over the dance floor in the arms of her enchanted husband.  
There was also another friend, one they hopefully expected to arrive eventually, but worried a bit about too.  
Steve could relate. He really hoped his own dear friend wasn’t lonely right now too.  
Steve himself wasn’t an enthusiastic dancer, and thankfully, no one tried to pull him onto the dancefloor. Maybe he was still waiting for the right dance partner…

A wistful shot through him like ice, and he quickly distracted himself with the Dutch apple pies the waiters were carrying around by now. One by one, the others came back, munching gleefully on the tiny desserts and making joyful conversation. 

* * *

The band started to play modern pop songs in a 20ies style. It wasn't gaudy, and most of the older guests didn’t even notice, but the girls had noticed it right away and were subtly singing along the original lyrics.

Steve didn’t even got half of the references and intended puns, but he wished it would be less. Way less. What has happened to subtlety?  
Or female containment? 

_“Like a virgin  
Touched for the very first time  
Like a virgin  
When your heart beats  
Next to mine  
Gonna give you all my love, boy  
My fear is fading fast  
Been saving it all for you  
'Cause only love can last”_

’Jesus, when did music became so – raw and direct?’

* * *

Bucky had no idea why Steve was turning beet red, but he had trouble holding his laugh. Apparently, the subdued music was a version of a modern pop song about sex and virginity, as he was informed by his grinning companion, and no doubt the women in Steve’s entourage had shared that information too.

“Poor Steve, almost 100 years old and still a flustered schoolboy.” 

The song was over, and Bucky could see Steve taking a gasp of relief. Another one started, and he didn’t know that one either. He gave Blondie an expecting look, and she grinned, and started singing along: 

_“When I feel down, I want you above me  
I search myself, I want you to find me  
I forget myself, I want you to remind me  
I don't want anybody else  
When I think about you, I touch myself  
Ooh, I don't want anybody else  
Oh no, oh no, oh no"  
_

Bucky was speechless. Who the hell had picked that music?!?

* * *

Shower Curtain leaned into the curator and whispered;  
“I know you wanted me to give you examples for modern love songs, but I didn’t expect you to, well, take them so seriously!”

He gave her a conspiratorial smile.  
“Well my dear, I was looking for a certain effect and it seems like I got it quite right.”  
He winked at her. Next to them, the other women were still cheerily singing along: 

_”You're the one who makes me come runnin'  
You're the sun who makes me shine  
When you're around, I'm always laughin'  
I want to make you mine  
I close my eyes and see you before me  
Think I would die if you were to ignore me  
A fool could see just how much I adore you  
I'd get down on my knees, I'd do anything for you”  
_

Steve excused himself to the toilet.


	5. Dizzy with a patsy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I had to give some directions on the timeline here. So, this fic roughly takes place after Civil War, with Bucky already cleared from all terrorist charges and a de-programmed mind, but not being a goat-herding white Jesus in Wakanda, and he already got a new arm (I know that’s a bit twisted, but, duh, fan fiction.)

Steve splashed cold water into his face. Get a hold on yourself, Rogers! You’ve heard worse songs since you thawed into the 21sth century!  
Staring into his mirror reflection, he waited for the longing to fade away.  
When he finally felt more collected, he turned around –

Only to bump into the man who just had left one of the bathroom stalls.

Bucky.

Steve was so baffled; he didn’t know what to say. Bucky was equally shell-shocked, but when he opened his mouth to say something, Steve’s anger erupted like a volcano.

“You bastard! You damn bastard!”

He shoved the other man, who stumbled back into the stall, and stomped after him.

“I was looking for you the whole time, torn between worry and rejection, and you have the audacity to show up, something I all but begged you to, and then _hide_ from me?!In the bathroom?!?”

He shoved Bucky again, who took a hold of his arm this time, swirled him around and pushed him against the wall, responding as angry as him:

“I am _protecting_ you! No one knows what could happen at events like this! And it sure ain’t good publicity for _Captain America_ to show up with a former terrorist and contract killer at a benefit gala for frickin’ peace and international friendship!”

Steve bashed Bucky against the thin wooden door.

The small bathroom stall was 85% full with 2 large super soldiers, so there was little room to move around.

“I never cared of such things! I barely got to see you after the Wakandians took care of you. I thought we – we could finally –“

Bucky had to swallow the huge lump that formed in his throat. He had sworn that he would protect Steve at any cost, against everything that threatened him – including concessions that entailed consequences they both weren’t able to bear.

He full-body shoved Steve away from him, spinning around, and grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. They were close enough to hear each other’s heartbeats, pounding away with anger and despair.

“Steve, it doesn’t matter how much you hope for it, I will never be the friend again you grew up with. We cannot rewind time and make this a second world exhibition. Some things are just - gone.”

His heart shouldn’t feel like breaking when he saw the expression on Steve’s face.

“All I can do is to try to make up for everything that you did for me. To keep you safe.”

Steve trembled, and finally pulled Bucky into a hug that forced all air out of his lungs.

“No matter what I do, I keep loosing you over and over again. Like some kind of invisible force is keeping us apart. Please, just – please…”

His voice died, and Bucky lost himself in Steve’s pleading blue eyes, leaning into his embrace, almost feeling like himself again -

A door banged.

“Captain Rogers? Sir? Are you in here? Is everything all right? Colonel McGuff and Major Block are looking for you.”

Steve jolted away from Bucky, eyes wide.

“Uhm, yes, I just had too much champagne, haha.” He actually said, haha. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

He turned to Bucky, but he was already out the stall.

“Don’t want to keep you from your duties, Captain.”

“Oh please, what should I have said to him? Jesus, don’t make such a fuss about it!”

Steve regretted saying this as soon as it was out of his mouth.

Bucky just shook his head angrily and left the bathroom.


End file.
